MAN, THAT’S NICE.
NICE AND SEASONAL.
JUST REALLY NICE, IN A SEASONAL KIND OF WAY.
I THINK IT’S LOVELY, AND ALSO QUITE WARM.
IS THERE ANYTHING MORE PLEASANT, WARM, LOVELY, AND SEASONAL THAN A NICE ROARING FIRE?
NO, NOT REALLY.
NO. THERE IS NOT.
I STILL CAN’T BELIEVE WE THREW GARY IN THERE, THOUGH.
I STILL CAN’T BELIEVE GARY OWNED, LET ALONE PLAYED, A KENNY CHESNEY CHRISTMAS ALBUM.
HONESTLY. IT’S NOT LIKE WE HAD A CHOICE.
NOPE. HAD TO BE DONE.
IT WAS FOR THE BEST.
ALL THINGS CONSIDERED, IT WAS BOTH MERCIFUL AND FAIR.
WHAT A SEASONAL WAY TO GO.
RIGHT? SUPER SEASONAL.
AND WARM TOO.
WHAT A NICE, WARM, SEASONAL WAY TO GO.
Look! I found y’all a map. The grey countries are the ones without universal healthcare.
An Open Letter to the UPS Guy
It sucks when someone you have feelings for doesn’t share those feelings; it happens to women all the time, too. We hear “I just want to be friends” and “you’re like one of the guys” and “you’re like a sister to me” just as often. But you’ll never hear a woman complain that guys just don’t appreciate a Nice Girl because we’re taught it’s our own fucking fault when we’re rejected—we aren’t pretty enough or thin enough or sexy enough, we weren’t sexual enough or were too sexual, we put out too much or too little or too soon or not soon enough, we didn’t wear our hair the right way or our skirt the right length, we’re “too tomboyish” or “too butch” or “too feminine”, or we’re “not their type”, or we’re otherwise not good enough in various ways to entice the man to grace us with his affection.
But when we’re not interested in someone, we’re vilified. We’re the bitch that lead them on, the bitch who let them buy us dinner but didn’t want to date them, the bitch who doesn’t appreciate a nice guy, the bitch they were nice to and then got nothing in return from.
And, frankly, fuck those people. Showing interest in me, being friendly with me, getting close to me, or eating a meal with me (even if they paid for it) doesn’t obligate me to open my heart or my legs. And anyone who doesn’t appreciate my friendship sure as hell doesn’t deserve my love or my pussy.